Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
