Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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