I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
