the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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