my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
