I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
