paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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