So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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