Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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