I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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