we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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