She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
