He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
