Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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