i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
