i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
