I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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