Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
