so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
