She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
