I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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