I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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