I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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