I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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