we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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