You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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