Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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