I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i out mim tonsoeep
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