It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am spending my child support on dildos
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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