I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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