tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
