Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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