who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
...so i touched it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
