her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
