a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
