Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Blood and glitter go together right?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
