I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize