I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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