Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize