i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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