Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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