I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
