So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
