Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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