i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
