Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
