just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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