No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
