now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
