so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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