none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
