we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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