Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
