He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
