WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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