The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
