she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
