Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize