I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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