He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
