I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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