Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
